As I posted on Saturday, I was truly given grace by this past weekend's formation class(es), and I thought that Father Michael Cummins showed us a living example of grace and humility in the spiritual life, an example to which we should all aspire, whether laity or clergy, aspirants, seminarians, or religious.
I did learn that later this week, those of us who are in the deaconate formation program will receive a list of potential assignments for summer service projects. A lot of these will be projects through Catholic Social Services, although we were told there would also be some other opportunities available. I had occasion yesterday to talk to one of my brother aspirants and we agreed that we are very eager to serve whoever, whatever, and however the Church might call us, since service is what the ministry of the deacon is about above all else...but as I shared with my brother in the Lord I am a little nervous for a very practical reason, and that is that whatever summer assignment I have must be something that is readily accessible to me. Since I don't drive, I have to rely on my wife very often to get me where I need to be in order to fulfill lots of responsibilities, and certainly church-related responsibilities that I have been called over the years to take on. Nicole is far from the only person who gives me this kind of assistance. As I have already written previously on this weblog, I could not attend deaconate formation with regularity in order to study with the required frequency of the formation process without the sincerely offered assistance of two of my Brother Aspirants, Steve Helmbrecht and Don Griffith. It is more than fair to say, however, that Nicole's help-usually behind the scenes and often without appearance or fanfare-has made my daily formation a reality. As a result, I do have a concern about how I will carry out my assignment, since Nicole can't do it all in terms of making sure that I can be everywhere I need to be-she also has a schedule and responsibilities of her own.
On the other hand, I must daily remind myself that whatever happens, absolutely none of this is about me, and the moment it becomes about me, it then becomes reasonable to question whether I am receiving a call from the Holy Spirit, or whether the call is of my own desire and volition. Were it to be the latter, I would not continue on my journey, since I believe the call to Holy Orders must come from the Holy Spirit, and that any desire on my own part to be ordained must exist because it is my desire to serve God and do his holy will.
So far, the Lord has provided for me as I have believed in faith that if being in formation and being ordained a deacon are truly God's will for my life, the Lord will continue to open doors as they are needed.